Detachment
"Now I would say, to understand the detachment of
Spirit we should study ourselves very well, clearly -
"How are we attached?" We are attached, firstly, by
our brain. Mostly by our brain. Because all our
conditionings are in our brain and all of our ego is
also in our brain. So emotional attachments are
through our brain and all our conditionings are in our
brain and all of our ego is also in our brain. So
emotional attachments are through our brain and all
our egoistical attachments also are through our brain.
That's why it is said that after Realization one must
try to practice the Shiva –Tattwa by practising
detachment."
Pandharpur, India. February 29, 1984.
Now the third nadi. Third nadi is the nadi by which
we feel attached, attached to someone. Like this is my
child; this is my husband; this is my family; this is
my wife; this is my father; this is my mother. In the
beginning of Sahaja Yoga of everyone, when they are
just the beginners, so they talk about their whole
family - my father is like this, my mother is sick, my
mother's sister's brother's this, that's, real.. this
thing is not well. As if, you see, we all have taken a
contract. What should I do?
Like today somebody said, that you see, ah, they
lost their first child, first child they lost because
the child was sleeping in another room. I said, small
children should sleep with mother and mother must look
after the children. It's a simple I mean. In India, no
mother would accept such a situation. She'll throw
away the husband, say "what's this? I have to look
after the child." So I said tell them that they should
sleep with the child. But they don't believe in it.
All right. What can we do?
Have we taken their contract that we should look
after their children? Even when they don't want to
listen to us? So the idea, is all the time in the
beginning, is that "Oh Mother I've been doing Sahaja
Yoga for one month, but so far my financial condition
has not improved." As if they're going to sue me for
that. As if I've let them down. But they don't want to
see that you have just now come to Sahaja Yoga, or
even if you have been in Sahaja Yoga for so many
years, you have not been a Sahaja Yogi. Something
missing, you don't deserve. Something wrong with you,
not with Sahaja Yoga. But they feel that Sahaja Yoga
is something which has got the contract. Immediately
they'll inform you. Now somebody is sick there,
somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, send five
Sahaja Yogis. For what? These attachments start
working within us.
Now some people I've seen are very attached to
their children and they go on pampering 'my child, my
child'. And suddenly they discover the child is now is
a devil's child. The child starts answering back,
saying all kinds of things, beating the parents,
misbehaving, and then they suddenly discover that this
is the child whom I have been looking after, giving so
much love. And they feel even worse because, "I have
done so much for my wife and she is treating me like
this." "I've done so much for my husband and he is
treating me like this."
Why do you do so much? There's no need. And if you
are doing it you just do it and you forget it. I never
feel that way. I have known of Sahaja Yogis for whom I
have worked very hard and they have gone down. Only
thing if I feel anything is "God knows where will they
jump? Where will they be in hell? What will happen to
them?" That's the only concern. Not the concern what
has happened because nothing can happen to me. But if
they have been sinful I just get worried about their
future, about their lives. That's different.
So this kind of attachment that is we call in
Sanskrit is 'mamartha'. This is mine that's my joy. My
this thing, my that. Who are your relations, are
Sahaja Yogis. Remember this. It's a sentence you must
remember: My relations are Sahaja Yogis only and
anybody who plays against Sahaja Yogis, troubles
Sahaja Yogis, -that person could be my own wife, could
be my own child - is not mine. Because I'll not allow
such a thing to happen. This relationship is all right
till Sahaja Yogis are one with each other.
As soon as somebody tries to harm any other Sahaja
Yogi then I'm not with that person. I've seen there
are many like that, very good Sahaja Yogis. They'll
never side with their wives, never side with their
children because they know if you are siding with them
you are making them sinful. You're destroying them.
They're worried about their ascent so they'll never
allow, never allow anybody - a relation of theirs, to
trouble others. I've seen some children who are
extremely naughty, very troublesome, very violent. And
the parents just say "Mother, put them right. We leave
it to You." They are to be put right. But others might
say, "Oh, no, no, no, no you see my child he can not
do such a thing," you know. So one has to understand
the discrimination part of it that "why am I
attached?"
I've given the simile many a times like the sap of
the tree rises, goes to various places of the trees,
various areas; looks after the bark, looks after the
branch, looks after the leaves, flowers and fruits and
comes back. Or it gets evaporated. Doesn't get
attached. If it gets involved into one of them the
whole tree will die and that part which is so close to
the sap will also die. But sap has much more sense
than we have. To them, husband's so important. I mean
so many problems of husbands, wives, this, that...
like "God", I sometimes think, "what is this?"
That's why we used to say take a sanyasa. So nobody
can talk about wife, children, nothing. You have to be
a sanyasan. First of all be a sanyasin, so no headache
to the guru. As soon as you start talking about any
one relation of yours the guru will say "All right you
get out. Nothing doing. No good."
But in Sahaja Yoga... Sahaja Yoga has much deeper
work to do. It has to penetrate into the society, into
the political life, into economic life. You have to
emancipate the whole world. Try to understand your
responsibility. You are not only here for one ascetic
ascent, no. How much wisdom you must have, how much
love you must have, and how much discrimination you
must have, to understand that you are chosen for the
emancipation of the whole world. So, now this
so-called limited love, what is the solution which
takes you to destruction is the unlimited love.
Because Shiva is nothing but love. He's love that
corrects, that nourishes, that wants your benevolence.
That's what Shiva is. It wants your benevolence. It
looks after you benevolence. So when you are looking
after the benevolence of others with love, then the
whole life changes, the whole pattern changes, and you
really enjoy it because you become one with so many,
concerned with so many families, so many things, so
many problems of others. You just feel you are one
with so many.
Shri Shiva
Puja, Italy 1991.